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After great strain and effort, I have managed to write the synopsis for my upcoming book.  I am terrible at summarizing anything in more than three words. My summaries of things usually fall under three replies.  First: “wow that sucked,” second: “meh” and third “SO AWESOME!”

Having to summarize my own work without giving away major spoilers or plot points has been tough. I paid a professional writer a bit of money to do it for me and, let’s just say that for my summary of his summary I had to use all three words.

I am new to the self-publishing world.  I am new to the industry and pretty much everything pertaining to it.  But, I think I have learned one very important lesson in my journey so far.  Do It Yourself.  Why?  Because no one cares about your work except you.  That sounds a bit mean, so let me elaborate.  For the most part, freelancers and companies are in the business of making money.  That is what they do.  You are a number to them.  Their job is to give you as satisfactory of a product in the least amount of time while, simultaneously, charging you as much as possible for that time. So yes, the summary that I had paid for was written well.  But it was SO BORING!  It lacked passion, fire and, most importantly, personality.

So, here is what I wrote:

Bimbly is a Halfling Wizard with an uncanny talent to hate everything. Poozik is a Dwarven Berserker with an insatiable appetite and an awful memory. They occasionally team up and… perform menial tasks like counting houses and fixing water pumps.

No, wait! There is action in this story too.  Infinite Paradox Corporation invade the land and attempt to assume control. There are also pirates, wizards, interns and dragons. There is a Dragon! That automatically makes this book awesome.

Fine! I’ll try another approach.

Ahem!

As darkness looms over the world, an evil Death Lord asserts himself upon the pinnacle of the Black Tower. His shadow stretched across the land and consumes the souls of the unsuspecting and the innocent. Only two reluctant heroes stand between darkness and the light. Two heroes of heroism and justice hold the line and…

No. Sorry, I can’t do this. The first description was way more on point.  I promise it’s a lot more entertaining than it sounds. Buy the book, judge for yourself.

Thanks!

Yes, it doesn’t summarize much, but I believe that it captures the personality of my upcoming book.  I hope that people will read it and, obviously, like it.  Misery of a Halfling will be the first book in a series called Chronicles of Bimbly. I hope to release the it in August, so please keep an eye out.

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